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I struggle with myself sometimes about how much to share on the ole' blawg.  Some stories involve other people.  

I am unsure of how much to reveal, how would they feel if I expose their weaknesses? Would they laugh along with us- as I poke fun at them..or would they feel laughed at? is it fair?


My nemesis: the cat:  Totally open season, I've decided.

• and here: A day (and night) in the life of a homeschool mom

 In a nutshell, if you resisted clicking-we have this routine, the cat & I- of his relentless begging for food all evening>me intending to throw him out when I finally go to bed, and then> I go to turn out the lights and get detoured from putting the cat out, because he will certainly be found curled up in angelic, cozy pose.  I relent, and do not toss him out.

exactly 40 minutes after my head hits my pillow, the cat will begin meowing for me to either let him out or to -yes...feed him [again].

Monday morning- at about 4 a.m. all of Orange County was awakened by crazy/heavy rain and thunder.  Now, we don't get much weather here, so a thunder storm- beside being a novelty, is also a treat.

Sky and I, the dog, and 1 or 2 children rushed to our huge front living room window (I love this window, my favorite thing about my house)  We opened the blinds to watch the huge storm,




There stood our cat, Oliver- pressed against the glass, trying not to get wet..with a terrified look on his face that seemed to say:  "Let me in!!!!!"


He had done his meowing thing again, after I had gone to bed- and I escorted him out and then locked the dog door.  Sky came up with that- it's very logical.  And linear.

I let him in.  After we all laughed at him.




 Here is Oliver, on his cat tree, in front of the same big picture window.

Wet cats shouldn't meow loudly. er, he who meows last will weep wetly...

something like that.

Labels: being mom, family, Jen's world

 I held my son and was instantly smitten.  He was different from the start.  I watched a show once about boys and girls, I remember the point being made that if you dressed a baby in different clothes, you would not be able to tell which gender.  True, maybe if you do not have a baby, or it’s been years since you’ve held one; but my boy was instantly different.  I could see the difference in his hands, his forearms, his little sweet baby-boy head.  He was special, our bond was special, and I knew I was set on a road of new things...

I am writing today over at The Mothers of Boys Society, click over to read about how

Everyday is an adventure

Labels: being mom, guest posts

You know when you have a day when everything seems to come together, everything seems to run smoothly, you get where you need to be with no rush?  Today was like that.

I've not had many days like that in several months.  It felt really good.  The key, I have to admit, was getting up really early and getting ready to hit the day at a good clip.  Sky is a firm believer in this, but me- non morning person that I am- find it hard to believe.

Meg had her outside science and composition/Lit class...Teddy's tutor came for an hour and a half...Did some descent homeschooling before/during and after the tutor's session... picked up Meg, did the lunch thing, broke out HP 7 to re-read before the movie opens...took the kids to the library, violin shop and then to the yogurt shop for a treat...checked out a martial arts place nearby.  It was a really, good-productive and yet mellow day.

Oh, how I need more of these!

I hope you had a good day, too, internet-friends!

Labels: being mom, homeschool, Jen's world

Sifted and weighed...I have too many days of feeling like that...

 Wednesdays are my 'light' days, because Teddy is not at my house...I don't want to do anything big that he would get behind on, so I usually do some basic schooling such as Math, handwriting, reading- but stuff like History, Science, Vocabulary, read alouds get put off till another day.  Because Wednesdays are my light days, I like to think of them as 'catch up' days or errand days- but lately, it seems like my Wednesdays have come out all wonky.

Today I had big plans of cleaning, catch up, laundry and some homeschool planning.  Our learning record meeting is coming up next week- I need to sit down and make sure we've finished everything, all areas of learning have been covered, etc.

Well, first off- I am chronically anemic..and I'm also forgetful and a bit stubborn, so I don't take my iron pills until I'm feeling really bad.  This past week or two, I've fallen asleep while waiting in my car at various lessons- a sign that I am pretty anemic.  The anemia headaches kicked in on Monday.  Wednesday I woke up to a pounding headache, took tylenol and then a sudafed in case it was my sinuses, not anemia.  Went for my walk, felt dizzy and nauseous, so cut the walk short and went home. -crawled into bed. Slept it off, got up, did the breakfast/shower thing...

Had this realization: it is now 11 o'clock.  Half my day is wasted.

Did some laundry, some Math with the kids, tried to straighten the house a bit.
Tried.
Around 4 pm I had to lay down again.  It was lay down or eat large amounts of chocolate and diet coke to wake me up.  I picked the nap.  Woke up, success! -headache was finally gone!  Now it was dinner time.


I don't often share days like this here, because frankly, I figure no one wants to read whining day after day on a blog...and also because I dread the possibility of being linked to some message board where people are bashing homeschoolers and my horrible day(s) being held up as an example of bad parenting.  But, I do have days like this, more than I care to display...I thought I'd share the ugly, in case there is another mom feeling as much of a failure as I often do.  I know, and believe with my whole heart that the Lord's burden is indeed light...and that he will guide us to the heights, valleys and even pit-stops we need to travel, if only we will open our hearts to his leading.

I will close my eyes tonight on a day that was failed, offering up my weak, temperamental heart.

Today, I remained.  Sometimes that is all I can do.

Tomorrow I will open my eyes, and look to My Father's eye- to see that which I ought to do.
My heart knows it is enough. 

Amen.

Labels: being mom, devotional, homeschool

I wonder nightly why- in Sam's Hill- can I not get more then 3 hours straight sleep? My kids were all Ezzo-routine babies -I so did not point that out to start a debate, just a fact...- they all slept through the night before or around 10 weeks. My first actually started at one month. And yet, I sleep not... If you want to see a grown woman cry, just dish out nights like I've had routinely... It comes down really to asthma; 3 of my 4 have it (I'm still waiting for my prize for that,...) and lately the cat is a problem. The cat has it in for me. The cat is slowly trying to make me crazy.

Two nights ago, my oldest woke me at 2 a.m to tell me she was itchy. (great...) My head had hit the pillow at 12:30 after doing one last(oh dear God let it be so!) nebulizer treatment with Demi. Up at 2 with Meg's problem, then up at 3 a.m again with Demi's asthma treatment. Then at 5 a.m Demi was asthma coughing, so I got up to do the nebulizer thing yet again-which you have to sit in bed with them for, because they fall asleep..after all, it is the middle of the night -and who wouldn't fall asleep?? Then he started crying because he had an earache. I got him some pain medicine and some cold medicine and advised him to not cry, it'll only make things worse. He was still fussing as I shuffled/sleep-walked/dragged myself back to bed. I entertained high hopes of 2 hours, pray- maybe 3?? hours of sleep before the next round, or getting up for church- since I had tossed the cat out at the 2 a.m. thing...the cat is my biggest nemesis in the sleep deprivation game.

6 a.m. and Meg came in to tell me that Demi was crying. I guess I slept thru it out of sheer exhaustion... I did the comforting thing, warmed up some ear-oil to help with the pain. All of this is hard on me, because I have bad circulation and it is freezing in our 1950's home... He's still crying, so now out of patience I tell him to stop. Several times. I am frustrated and so tired. I think to myself, "God must hate me..." and right away I know this is a wrong thought, and I feel bad because I know many parents have much worse situations to work through. And yet, I think it again. Demi hits for the heart and says "I want Daddy!" "Ha! I laugh back, do you think you'll get any sympathy from Dad?!" In our house, mom is the coddler, Dad is no nonsense/tough-love.

Demi is looking as put out with me as I must look to him... My mind goes back to a childhood memory of a stepdad dragging my little stepbrother into the bathroom and making him sleep in the tub because he was throwing up, and yelling at him. The tub idea suddenly seems kind of reasonable... appalled at myself, I go get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear. This works and he goes back to sleep. For 30 or 40 minutes... I wake up to realize that Demi is in our bed, in the unheard-of-side, next to Dad (mom's the cuddly one...usually) it must have been his final jab at me, mom-the-traitor...after 15 minutes of sniffling and crying, Dad says roughly and commandingly..."stop crying".

Ha.

Dad finally has pity and gets Demi up for a bath -which is his solution for most problems, that and ice cream...which surprisingly works most of the time. I get up and get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear.
Because I'm the sympathetic one. Usually.

Nobody made it to church, and the happy ending part is that Sky let me sleep in past 9.

Asthma, -the gift that keeps on giving.

The really sad part of my night-time asthma/cat woes...even on good nights now, I can't fall asleep, or I wake up every 3 hours or so- which is about the time frame between treatments.

I think I'm back to exalted-mom position, but it may be pending....

Labels: being mom, Jen's world

Labels: being mom

this came by way of Kelly at A Spacious place, go visit her and see another sweet piece she did on 1Cor. 13 for mothers -I'm unable to link it for some reason, go over and choose November in her archives!

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

when you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.

author unknown.

I know I need to slow down and pray that I live Christ to my children, even through these hectic and busy holiday seasons. Peace and serenity to all of you, my bloggy friends.

Labels: being mom

"Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little Rabbit. "You were Real to the boy," the Fairy said, "because he loved you." -The Velveteen Rabbit

This post has been rattling around in my head for a while now, so I thought that tonight on the occasion of my man-child's 7th birthday, I would share this memory I treasure of my son.

This summer I took all four kids with me to a used homeschool curriculum sale. This sale was held at a homeschool store that also offers classes to homeschoolers. They have a playground next to the store, and so, having been there before and having had my kids very welcomed on the playground in the past, I left them there to play while I browsed the books for sale on the lawn. A lady connected with the store saw at one point that all of the mothers sitting around the playground had drifted away, and since my two youngest were the only ones in the yard she thought maybe she should let me know.

The conversation went something like this...Lady: "Who's your mommy?" Demi: "mommy". Lady: "what is your mommy's name so I can go find her?" Demi: "mommy." Lady: "what is your last name?" Demi said our last name, which sounds like a common first name but is spelled differently. Lady tried again: "what do your mommy's friends call her?" Demi: "Mrs. (blank)" she tried again: "what does your dad call her?" Demi-looking puzzled: "Mommy" (not true, not sure why he answered that way). Finally the lady asked "what does your mommy look like, so I can go find her?"

Demi: "she's wearing a dress, she has long hair and blue eyes, and she's beautiful!" this part said in a stage whisper, as if he was imparting a wonderful, exciting secret.

This sweet dear lady did find me. And she took the time to tell me all that had unfolded. I got teary eyed and thanked her from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to share this with me. I treasure this because I am with my kids all the time as a homeschool mom and I am on the front lines as a disciplinarian, and with the unending questions, the chatter, the disagreements. Sometimes I feel like I spend much of my time correcting, ordering, instructing, wondering if my negative interactions are outweighing my positive interactions. This memory means so much to me because it paints a picture of how my son sees me. I am so grateful that to him, mother represents beauty.

"They were all growing so fast. In just a few short years they would all be young men and women...youth tiptoe...expectant...a-star with its sweet wild dreams...little ships sailing out of safe harbour to unknown ports. The boys would go away to their life work and the girls...ah, the mist-veiled forms of beautiful brides might be seen coming down the old stairs at Ingleside.
But they would be still hers for a few years yet...hers to love and guide...to sing the songs that so many mothers had sung." -Anne Of Ingleside

Happy Birthday Demi, Mommy loves you more than she could ever tell.

Labels: being mom, Jen's world