Home is where you start from: The Mess you don't see

Thursday, November 04, 2010

The Mess you don't see

Sifted and weighed...I have too many days of feeling like that...

Wednesdays are my 'light' days, because Teddy is not at my house...I don't want to do anything big that he would get behind on, so I usually do some basic schooling such as Math, handwriting, reading- but stuff like History, Science, Vocabulary, read alouds get put off till another day. Because Wednesdays are my light days, I like to think of them as 'catch up' days or errand days- but lately, it seems like my Wednesdays have come out all wonky.

Today I had big plans of cleaning, catch up, laundry and some homeschool planning. Our learning record meeting is coming up next week- I need to sit down and make sure we've finished everything, all areas of learning have been covered, etc.

Well, first off- I am chronically anemic..and I'm also forgetful and a bit stubborn, so I don't take my iron pills until I'm feeling really bad. This past week or two, I've fallen asleep while waiting in my car at various lessons- a sign that I am pretty anemic. The anemia headaches kicked in on Monday. Wednesday I woke up to a pounding headache, took tylenol and then a sudafed in case it was my sinuses, not anemia. Went for my walk, felt dizzy and nauseous, so cut the walk short and went home. -crawled into bed. Slept it off, got up, did the breakfast/shower thing...

Had this realization: it is now 11 o'clock. Half my day is wasted.

Did some laundry, some Math with the kids, tried to straighten the house a bit.
Tried.
Around 4 pm I had to lay down again. It was lay down or eat large amounts of chocolate and diet coke to wake me up. I picked the nap. Woke up, success! -headache was finally gone! Now it was dinner time.

sigh.

I don't often share days like this here, because frankly, I figure no one wants to read whining day after day on a blog...and also because I dread the possibility of being linked to some message board where people are bashing homeschoolers and my horrible day(s) being held up as an example of bad parenting. But, I do have days like this, more than I care to display...I thought I'd share the ugly, in case there is another mom feeling as much of a failure as I often do. I know, and believe with my whole heart that the Lord's burden is indeed light...and that he will guide us to the heights, valleys and even pit-stops we need to travel, if only we will open our hearts to his leading.

I will close my eyes tonight on a day that was failed, offering up my weak, temperamental heart.

Today, I remained. Sometimes that is all I can do.

Tomorrow I will open my eyes, and look to My Father's eye- to see that which I ought to do.
My heart knows it is enough.

Amen.

Labels: being mom, devotional, homeschool

posted at 12:43 AM
8 comments

8 Comments:

At 4:42 AM, Theresa said...: Great post!! We all have days like this. I so often believe that God brings people into your life to share your burden even if it is just an unloading.

I have not been at hsing long, but this week was not a great hs week...the children's librarian is on vacation and I have been asked to cover for her (and offered the position of assistant children's librarian!)...my girls have been with my mom and they watched a DVD on Egypt and did a science experiment and Teaching Textbooks every day, but that is really about it :( But I figure ps kids get sick and have days off and we've worked through being sick...I am not going to stress the small stuff...having my girls home is priceless.
At 9:48 AM, melanie said...: I loved this post! We all have days like that. Not so much fun, however, sometimes it just is what it is. I'm so thankful for the grace to just pick up and move on the next day. :)
At 10:54 AM, Unknown said...: Oh how we all can relate. It is always nice to know that it isn't just us with days like that. We somehow find comfort in it..LOL. Thanks for sharing. I think you do an AWESOME job with all that you do.

Anne @ http://lessonsthrulife.com
At 10:58 AM, annalea said...: oh it is so true. i was thinking earlier today i should walk around the house and take photos of the state of things just to "come clean" with my reality of these kind of days. like realizing, it is almost 1pm and i have not put on my contacts or glasses all day. something is wrong with that. thanks for sharing!
At 12:09 PM, Susanne Barrett said...: We all have days like yours. In school kids would have a substitute teacher showing them a movie, so your kids are better off than that! We as homeschoolers need to acknowledge to each other that we're not perfect--it helps so much when we tend to compare ourselves to others so frequently.

Thanks for your honesty and transparency, Jen! God bless you! (And take those iron pills, girlfriend!) :D
At 5:56 AM, SomeGirl said...: Thanks for your transparency, Jenny! And thanks for linking up for Thought Provoking Thursday. :)

It's so comforting for me to look at the seasons changing and know God set those in place... They come and go as part of nature. It helps me to think about that as I go through different seasons in life (the messy, tired, refreshed, energetic seasons that seem to cycle around)... God knows.

Praying you find rest in Him and strength for the road He has you travel today. I'm really SO glad you linked up!

Love, Michelle
At 5:02 PM, Karen Sue said...: SAH moms, working moms, ps moms, hs moms, we all have guilts to work through and the days that don't go as planned and I was on a roll for a while to make a list of 10 things a do to complete...and you can put on it easy stuff like make the bed, but during today and tonight, it feels a little better to write them on a list for tomorrow as a reminder of things to do, and spread them out a bit and maybe I should try iron pills, "cuz my git up and go has got up and went" and less sunlight is not going to make it any easier...
At 11:17 PM, Janet Rose said...: You are so not alone, Jenny. God uses these moments to draw us to Himself...and yes, to remain in Him. Somedays this is enough. :)

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