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I wonder nightly why- in Sam's Hill- can I not get more then 3 hours straight sleep? My kids were all Ezzo-routine babies -I so did not point that out to start a debate, just a fact...- they all slept through the night before or around 10 weeks. My first actually started at one month. And yet, I sleep not... If you want to see a grown woman cry, just dish out nights like I've had routinely... It comes down really to asthma; 3 of my 4 have it (I'm still waiting for my prize for that,...) and lately the cat is a problem. The cat has it in for me. The cat is slowly trying to make me crazy.

Two nights ago, my oldest woke me at 2 a.m to tell me she was itchy. (great...) My head had hit the pillow at 12:30 after doing one last(oh dear God let it be so!) nebulizer treatment with Demi. Up at 2 with Meg's problem, then up at 3 a.m again with Demi's asthma treatment. Then at 5 a.m Demi was asthma coughing, so I got up to do the nebulizer thing yet again-which you have to sit in bed with them for, because they fall asleep..after all, it is the middle of the night -and who wouldn't fall asleep?? Then he started crying because he had an earache. I got him some pain medicine and some cold medicine and advised him to not cry, it'll only make things worse. He was still fussing as I shuffled/sleep-walked/dragged myself back to bed. I entertained high hopes of 2 hours, pray- maybe 3?? hours of sleep before the next round, or getting up for church- since I had tossed the cat out at the 2 a.m. thing...the cat is my biggest nemesis in the sleep deprivation game.

6 a.m. and Meg came in to tell me that Demi was crying. I guess I slept thru it out of sheer exhaustion... I did the comforting thing, warmed up some ear-oil to help with the pain. All of this is hard on me, because I have bad circulation and it is freezing in our 1950's home... He's still crying, so now out of patience I tell him to stop. Several times. I am frustrated and so tired. I think to myself, "God must hate me..." and right away I know this is a wrong thought, and I feel bad because I know many parents have much worse situations to work through. And yet, I think it again. Demi hits for the heart and says "I want Daddy!" "Ha! I laugh back, do you think you'll get any sympathy from Dad?!" In our house, mom is the coddler, Dad is no nonsense/tough-love.

Demi is looking as put out with me as I must look to him... My mind goes back to a childhood memory of a stepdad dragging my little stepbrother into the bathroom and making him sleep in the tub because he was throwing up, and yelling at him. The tub idea suddenly seems kind of reasonable... appalled at myself, I go get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear. This works and he goes back to sleep. For 30 or 40 minutes... I wake up to realize that Demi is in our bed, in the unheard-of-side, next to Dad (mom's the cuddly one...usually) it must have been his final jab at me, mom-the-traitor...after 15 minutes of sniffling and crying, Dad says roughly and commandingly..."stop crying".

Ha.

Dad finally has pity and gets Demi up for a bath -which is his solution for most problems, that and ice cream...which surprisingly works most of the time. I get up and get Demi a hot rag to put on his ear.
Because I'm the sympathetic one. Usually.

Nobody made it to church, and the happy ending part is that Sky let me sleep in past 9.

Asthma, -the gift that keeps on giving.

The really sad part of my night-time asthma/cat woes...even on good nights now, I can't fall asleep, or I wake up every 3 hours or so- which is about the time frame between treatments.

I think I'm back to exalted-mom position, but it may be pending....

Labels: being mom, Jen's world